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I.

complicated didn't even begin to describe it.

she wasn't living, but she was existing in a peaceful calmness of the apartment, undisturbed and forgotten. she'd never avoided problems, but relationship problems? she wanted to avoid those.

maybe that was why she'd never told Blake that while their agreement didn't include anything romantic, she felt abandoned, especially when the only person she'd been the closest to in London would disappear for days, spending his time with his boyfriend.

this agreement that they'd had worked in theory. it looked good on paper; they would live separate intimate lives and divorce once the inheritance and the business was secured. it sounded good and she was willing to make a sacrifice of temporary marrying her best friend if it assured her his future.

but then, John appeared. he crashed into her life unannounced, just came and took whatever he wanted.

she allowed him because for the first time in her life she felt desired. needed.

it was everything and then some. a whirlwind romance of two souls that desperately cling to one another, with insecurities poking at wounds that hadn't been closed.

regardless, she still pined after him. despite the fear that this could be over as soon as it started.

she could only hope she wasn't going to receive a crash course on what it was like to have her heart crushed.